my instantaneous thoughts

everytime i come back from having drinks at ss 3. i’ll lock the gate and front door and go upstairs. enter my room and switch on the pc and here i am. waiting eagerly on what indonesian song that might pop up in a short while in my shuffled playlist.

not long after that, i’ll start to think what had happened today and type it all here.

i guess tonight i’ll reflect on what i’ve went through the other past days.
i might say that i live a normal life.
maybe i missed the experience of graduating earlier together with my other friends and would probably start working somewhere already and be on my way in the corporate rat race.

but i’m not.

i am still sitting here thinking about what i did and did not do.
i’m really thankful that i don’t really wish the events in the past did not happen.
as i’ve stated in my past entry, things happen for a reason. if i were to take the right turn when i actually took the wrong one, would i be here at all.
would i be what i am today, would i even get to know the things that i wasn’t supposed to know.

i know i’m repeating some things i’ve already typed before, but i just can’t help it.
everyone’s lonely at times. but why should i care. why? because there are people out there who actually give a damn if anything happens to me. good or bad. namely family and friends. even though they are not what they seemed at times or maybe i don’t really them very well inside out.
they care. if i ever said i am so so so alone in this world. i am truly wrong.

as always i’m not sure what i’m typing. we all make mistakes, over and over again, but there’s no wrong in that.
and i’m sure among the happy vibes felt, there’s always hate coinciding. very secretively. or maybe open.
we all are who we are. we are who we build and we are who we destroy. what was that i don’t know, maybe i’m supposed to type it in some other words, but that is what i could think of.

this is a very confusing post because i’m typing with referral of my instantaneous thoughts.
but know this, i am happy with what i have even though i don’t have the things that i want, yet. heh.
i am never sure of what i feel towards life as it is. but i’m just trying to move onto another position. in which i have no idea what it will be.
everyone’s a confused soul, whether they realized it or not and i have nothing else to type as of this moment.
maybe it is a downfall from reality or maybe it reality coming into sense.

we won’t know until we experienced it, with our own senses.

i guess the only thing my heart could do is smile and try to sort out everything that comes, even though it seems impossible. there are so many strings attached to things, i’ll just hope everything’ll turn out well for each and everyone of us.


what’s that. i don’t know. hehehee… *gila*

zackmy instantaneous thoughts

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